modern family questioning

I'm lucky to work with clients who have had the courage and interest to live their lives in ways that are creative and don't follow the status quo. This approach to life can bring a lot of joy and pleasure, but it can also mean a lot of emotional labor around decisions that are not simply taken for granted. When every choice is carefully considered and examined, the weight of the decisions can feel quite heavy.

I frequently hear my clients question what they would like their future personal family to look like. Today, I bring this up in the newsletter to simply validate the difficulty of this emotional work and the complicated experiences around these choices. There are so many pressures to sort through when deciding what feels right in family planning. And if one comes to the point of deciding that being a parent feels like the right option, then the list of valid and good ways to do this is long - to do this without a partner, with a partner, with multiple partners, with a partner without a romantic relationship, and so on.

In our work together, my clients and I try to understand what feels important and meaningful when considering the possibility of being a parent and then we take the next big step to learn about all possible options. Being informed about options is one of the hardest and most important parts of this process - this allows us to make choices, instead of feeling like choices are being made for us.

It is very normal to experience protective avoidance around some of these decisions and to have the unconscious belief that things will simply sort themselves out. This may be true, but it can be really empowering to step into a more active role in determining what one's future may look like.

This can be really tough stuff, and coping with the feelings and tolerating the uncertainty that goes with it all might be rough. I want to give credit to all of you out there who may be going through some version of this thought process! You are definitely not alone in this.

If any part of this message resonated with you, I encourage you to take a moment and give yourself some respect for the work you are doing.