compassion, pleasure, and sense of self
Feeling value and comfort within our identity can be a major challenge on a good day, and it can be even more difficult in the absence of typical external interactions during COVID-19. It can be surprising to realize just how much of an impact our relationships and external validation have on how we see ourselves.
Self-doubt and criticism can be really painful, and the ways we may have previously tried to soothe some of these super harsh voices were probably connected to the feedback we solicited or received from others. This may be helpful for a moment, but it usually doesn't last for long.
Fighting and challenging these thoughts can be an exhausting exercise. Instead of trying to work with these thoughts in a really intellectualized way, focusing on pleasure and compassion can be a different and really impactful way to connect with your value.
Pleasure as self-worth Allowing ourselves to experience pleasure can be a way of showing ourselves that we matter. Instead of fighting a self-critical thought, recognize that it's happening, and take this opportunity to engage in something accessible and pleasurable. Consider your senses - what can you see, feel, taste, hear, or smell that will feel good? Prioritizing pleasure can feel like a radical redefining of what matters.
Compassion as self-value A regular self-compassion practice can be a seriously powerful way to begin to develop a feeling of care for ourselves, and it's not necessary to feel "self-love" to have compassion. There can be quite a bit of pressure around the idea of self-love, and this is not always attainable or relevant. We can exist with complicated feelings about ourselves while also directing love and compassion towards ourselves, respecting, and prioritizing ourselves.
Try a guided body scan combined with an easy visualization to help. Direct your attention to your physical experience, focusing on each part of your body. Imagine yourself directing a warm ray of light onto each part of your body. This warm light contains compassion and care and is sent to each part of your body as you imagine it.